For Channel 6 News, I'm Kent Brockman

My last post was kind of serious, not to mention kind of a downer, so i thought i would lighten things up with some Kent Brockman quotes... and underated Simpsons character, but a funny one nonetheless

A bloody end for Homer Simpson...is just one of several possible outcomes according to our computer simulation. Now here is how it would look if the police killed him with a barrage of baseballs." -- Kent Brockman

Kent Brockman- "Professor, without knowing precisely what the danger is, would you say it's time for our viewers to crack each other's heads open and feast on the goo inside?"
Professor- "Yes I would, Kent."

And in environmental news, scientists have announced that Springfield's air is now only dangerous to children and the elderly." -- Kent Brockman

Hello, I'm Kent Brockman, and welcome to another edition of 'Smartline'. Are cartoons too violent for children? Most people would say 'No. Of course not. What kind of stupid question is that?' But one woman says 'yes'...Marge Simpson." -- Kent Brockman

Ladies and gentlemen, uh, we've just lost the picture, but what we've seen speaks for itself. The Corvair spacecraft has apparently been taken over- 'conquered' if you will- by a master race of giant space ants. It's difficult to tell from this vantage point whether they will consume the captive Earthman or merely enslave them. One thing is for certain: there is no stopping them; the ants will soon be here. And I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords. I'd like to remind them as a trusted TV personality, I can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground sugar caves." -- Kent Brockman